Why yes, it will.

A day in the life.

From the first patrol to the last cat of the morning..

I'm on my f'n lunchbreak.

Yeah, it's that time of year again when Iget hella stressed out running around trying to get last minute gifts. I know I should do it online, do it early blah blah; but I cunt get packages @ my apt and I don't really care all that much. Every year, I get a pile of shit that I just hand over to my Pops anyways. Who cares about an size extra medium sweater from Lands End and some Addidas cologne. Not Me.

Mobile Office #2

Innsbruck to Munich 12.16.06

Holy Schnitz.

Schnitzel for days in Austria. Twice a day on more than one occasion. More to come soon....

Nigga Please from SNL

the most hilarious SNL "commercial" ever.

SNL CRAZE

May all your Holiday wishes come true.

MAC 10

Watch out for Prodigy's mixtape "Return of the MAC". Hot Shit.

BRGR

Been on a burger spree in the last week with some new joints poppin up. There's BRGR down near FIT which is pretty good. You can get fancy with some Roquefort cheese and avocados and all that shit there. Unfortunately, the burger is slightly overcooked (medium well) but construction is good.

My favorite is Lucky's Famous on 52nd and 9th. It's pretty f'n good. As close to In and Out you can get in NYC and you have the option to add BACON; which always wins. Plus you get a serious helping of crinkle cut fries if you're into that. I'd just rather down two burgers. Go tear it up if you are in the neighborhood.

Just Shoot Me

Blew a head gasket in the winter whip. Gotta pull the engine and replace the block. Prob gonna be gettin' dirty when I should be sliding around the first cold weekend this winter. What's so great about sitting on a lift, freezing your ass off only to slide down a sheet of ice with crusty snow meatballs on top? Everything pretty much.

Gs down on a lawyer, now Gs down on the whip. What now? I'm about to lose my shit in a minute.

You scared the Egg Nog out of me.

A gallery of kids scared shitless of Santa Claus? Yes please.

Here's a new one.

Crazy shit right herrrrrrr.

Trackstar of the Weekend

Thought I caught a bad one...

Got pulled over and got caught driving with a suspended license. Misdemeanor charge- $5000 if I don't show up for court and a summons goes out for my arrest. Sweet. Gs down for a lawyer and court fines. Pissed as fuck but I didn't get as shit on as this guy:


"A man has been shot dead by police in Queens just hours before he was due to be married. Sean Bell was on a night out with friends at a strip club where they were out on a bachelor night.

Two of his friends, Joseph Guzman and Trent Benefield, were also hurt in the shooting outside the club which had been under police surveillance.

Their car reportedly hit an unmarked police vehicle, prompting officers to fire 50 bullets.

New York's Mayor said officers took action because they thought there was going to be a fight outside the club and feared a weapon would have been used.

Police have been looking for evidence at the scene.

An investigation is under way and the families are demanding that the police explain their actions."

50 FUCKING BULLETS. How many bullets does it take to kill someone? Thought one was fine. Guess they went to the same police academy as Abner Louima's officers. Moral of the story is: "Watch your ass on the streets and don't drive a flashy car". Might get shot or even worse.

Finally hitting their target market.

Think we might be crushed.

http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/

Why I love Google.

Finally...Black Friday Release

How we (shrimp) roll.

Don't step to Cookie Puss.

I've just learned that there are about six Carvel's in Southern California. It, as they say, is "on".

Tyra's Flight Club

Peace through Pork.

Can't we all just get along?

It's Da Rub

Just got back from Park Slope from a "It's the Rub" party. Shit's pretty tight as you hear all the hits from 90s hip hop like the Beatnuts, So So Def All Stars like KP & Envyi, and some O.G. Baltimore house: all mashed up with the goodness. The crowd is always down to get down so you can't go wrong with this Brooklyn semi-monthly jam.

From rubbin' up to some random hotties, watching some beautiful lesbians making out on the dance floor, to seeing a closet crush Elisha Cuthbert doppleganger in a wife beater it was a hella good time. The crown jewel of the night was my friend Tee stepping on this dude's Tiffany Dunks. Dude was soo bummed. Listen hipster, you come to the Rub to get down, not try out for Project Runway.

Jagged Peak Adventure.

If you have played this game at all you know how hard this was to make.

Straight for the Jugular.

So I came across this site that pretty much has video instructions on how to do any number of random things. From getting out of a car to showering, they have you covered. The "How to Fold a Shirt in 2 Seconds" video is priceless. Expect these guys to get bought by Google in the next 3-6 months.



For more videos on how to do everyday things (in case you all of a sudden hit your head and forgot how to brush your teeth), click to go to VideoJug.

Buddy Bear

My sis and bro-in-law just got a new puppy. A mini-schnauzer just like we grew up with. Buddy is pretty dope. 11 weeks of pure sugar. Super fun and tons of laughs. Chillin' with him reminds me that I don't have to such an asshole all the time.

Happy Holla-ween

Boo.

Only on cable can you get a show about a forensics agent who is also a serial killer whose sister is a cop. Keep your Lost and your Desperate Housewives, this is the best show on TV since the Sopranos without a doubt.

Sorry....

..for getting you addicted to this game.



Check YouTube for some crazy tracks. This has only just begun. I'm going to bet that this will be on PS3 soon.

A light snack.

So I am standing in line at the supermarket today minding my own business when something catches my eye. A fairly heavyset twenty-something young woman in front of me in line was enjoying a beverage while she waited in line with her biker-looking mother. When I first caught a glimpse of the small holly sprig on the bottle, I though to myself, "What could that be? Some mint goodness?" I might have had to go back and grab one for myself if that was the case. But no. This pillar of health was pounding a pint of Egg Nog while she shopped. Anyone who has ever had this stuff knows it is like drinking melted ice cream and is a complete gut bomb. Not something you casually see someone drinking on a 75 degree day. Now to top it all off, halfway through her basket, the clerk grabs an EMPTY package of Hostess Powdered Donettes out of the basket that she had killed in about 20 minutes (I'm estimating since I was in the Express aisle). What a combo. Egg Nog and Powdered Donuts. I was completely speechless. Over 1000 calories while meandering through the supermarket. Gross.

Track 7.

Borat Soundtrack. A preview of how good the movie is going to be.

1. Chaje Shukarije - Esma Redzepova
2. Born to Be Wild - Sacha Baron Cohen,
3. Siki, Siki Baba - Erran Baron Cohen
4. Gypsy's Kolo
5. Eu Vin Acasa Cu Drag
6. In My Country There Is Problem (Throw the Jew Down the Well) [Live]
7. Grooming Pubis
8. Magic Mamaliga
9. Money Boney
10. You Be My Wife - Erran Baron Cohen, Sacha Baron Cohen
11. Ederlezi - Goran Bregovic
12. Mahalageasca [Bucovina Dub]
13. O Kazakhstan - Erran Baron Cohen

Buy it on iTunes here.

Check the current conditions.

The whole town smells like a barbeque. Thanks Santa Ana winds!

The 206.

The original Starbucks.

Early this week I headed up to Seattle for some meetings. Monday was packed with meetings and Tuesday morning we headed down to Pike Place Market for some Seattle goodness. First we hit up the original Starbucks which, really is'nt that different from all of the other ones. Except it has a better view. Even better, there was a Russian bakery next door whose specialty are filled pastries. The smell coming out of that place was undescribable. After one of those I went on to order a cookie that was as big as my face for the flight home. Now I can say I have been to the OG Starbucks, Ben and Jerry's and Wal Mart. Whoa.


The most Russian of Russian bakeries.


Pike Place Market. So fresh, so clean.


The view from the park next to Green's office. Definitely better than looking at the 405 overpass I look at everyday.

Uhm What?

It's about time.

Itgen's Ice Cream

Went out to Valley Stream Long Island to visit a friend and his wife. We went out for some ice cream @ this old school joint in the neighborhood. While I was enjoying my two scoops, my buddy attacked the crown jewel of the menu; the "Sock it to Me" Sundae. It's 15 scoops plus nuts, bananas, and hot fudge. He killed it but kinda made me ill just watching. You'd never believe this skinny kid could do so much damage.

It's Fucking Tuesday!

Yeah that night was straight retarded. It was a busy f'n day, got out of work expecting to just get some wings or some shit. But apparently A-Trak was spinning @ some "party" downtown. Figured it was just some lounge gig, hopped on a train downtown, and rolled up to some craze. Big tents, lights, red carpet and the whole nine. I figured I was gonna be sent home, but Trizz was able to hook up some backstage kits. Thanks yo!.



Creeped through the VIP entrance, saw a grip of filled cognac glasses and it dawned on me. I just walked into Hennessy Paradise. The venue was huge and we were trippin'. Waitresess were walking around with Henny mixed cocktails but you could go up to the bar if you wanted a straight kit on the rocks. Got faded with a quickness and heard the Strokes were supposed to play. Drew Barrymore was there rockin' the knitting kneedle dance. Apparently she's fuck'n one of the band members. She was there looking like the hot girl in the hippie store that's cute but you know she never shaves nor bathes properly. I don't know shit about that kind of music though. If it ain't played on WBLS, I ain't never heard of it.



Wasn't feelin' the rocker set, so headed out to take a piss. One girl was in the one of the stalls for what seemed like forever. She came out stumbling like she just got off a rollercoaster. As she passed I made the nose candy sign and we all in line had a laugh. Trooped back up to the bar some more boo-boo juice and snaked through the crowd for the end of the set. As they closed we creeped up to get close for A-Trak's set. His shit was tight and it was the perfect warm-up for what was to come...



Didn't really kick in until the girls from the touring orchestra showed up. Fucking Kanye is really gonna play right now. Usually he throws down in huge sold out venues, but here we were about 2 feet from the stage with hella room to do Da Ratchet Dance. He popped out and it was on. He played all the hits from both albums and even Pharell came out for a few tracks. We were trippin'.. It was hype to hear all the songs you wild out to in your headphones with Kanye about 3 feet away from you at a show that A-Trak snuck you into with a full glass of Hennessy in each hand. I couldn't shake the Kool-Aid smile off my face and turned to DMC and proclaimed, "This is some fucked up shit. IT'S FUCKING TUESDAY!!!!!"



And just to make the night more extended we left the event and walked down the street to Yummy Noodle. In the same vein as Hop-Kee or Noodle King, you can get your " for real" Chinese food. No General Tso Special here. I opted for the Duck with Noodles Soup. Perfect for trying to iron out a Henny drunk. Enjoyed our shit, walked through Little Italy to try and get a cannoli @ 3 in the morning. Good Luck, right? BUT we did happen to find a place that agreed to serve us some Cannoli Gelato. Pretty good esp since we didn't expect to get shit.



And to make the night even more hilarious, we popped into DMCs hotel and went swimming in the lobby pool. I was just laughing at this point esp since I was looking at about only 2 hours of sleep before my first appointment. It was okay though, my client was just recovering from some food poisoning and really didn't want to do shit. Good thing esp since my eyes were so swollen they looked like hot dog buns turned sideways.

Roll up to the spot looking extra fly...

This past Sunday night I headed to NYC. Monday was packed with appointments and dinner plans and Tuesday was more of the same. Typical right? Well, A-Trak just moved to NYC recently so we made plans to get together. He was playing a "party" that night so Al and I headed downtown to check it out.


Al sipping some of the abundant supply of Hennessy that was on hand.

Upon arrival, we saw huge tents with rows of limos and Range Rovers packing the front. The doors were definitely closed for the night and scores of "beautiful people" were left standing in the rain making calls to their "people" trying to get in. Luckily for us, A-Trak was kind enough to get us in the stage entrance. What we thought was just a party in grimy ass Chinatown turned out to be a private, VIP, laminated pass, red carpet and all that Henessey Aristry event. The Strokes went on first, followed by an A-Trak set and then Kanye's throwdown. Pharrell even came out for a few tracks. What was crazy was that both acts played full sets, not watered down personal appearance sets. Hell, Kanye even brought the orchestra. A true professional. Many thanks to A-Trak for the great time. I always wondered what a $1,000,000 party was like.

You never know where the day is going to take you.


Kanye and Pharell.


A-Trak. Thanks for the great time yo.

The legend holds true.

Ninjas serve you your food? The legend turns out to be true.

Emmy status.

If you have'nt seen Weeds, hit up iTunes and get some episodes. Some of the best writing out there and Andy Botwin (played by Justin Kirk), is probably the biggest scene stealer since Webster.

Joey

At least people are starting to embrace their stereotypes.

Mobile Office #1

Bryant Park NYC

Shitbox

Just when you think your car is a p.o.s. there's the whip with the duct tape roof. STOOPS!!!

E-Town Stomp

Went down to Englishtown after work this past Sat. It was the EVO vs. STi rebate Shootout. The last event rained so this was Round Two. The event had many broken times & broken dreams as the Subarus were spanked again and again and many engines/ trannies were exploding all over the track. When will anybody realize you are not supposed to launch an AWD car? Whatevs. I was there to support the shop as the had a tent and got my official team jacket. Shit's pretty dope. Prob gonna get some kicks to match just like a fag.






The best and worst thing about these events is that you get to see new items and styles. Unfortunately, it gets the car craze going and makes you wanna buy a bunch of bullshit like these new $200 lug nuts. Am I retarded?