Saturday, March 31, 2007

White and Nerdy.

This could be the only solution for that huge box of mixtapes that I gathered back in the DMC Finals days. You can convert them all to MP3's with this thingamajig right here. PC only though. Lame.

Post Script- There are tons of random ass things on this site. Worth digging around a little.


So Bulgaria just went into debt to buy a fleet of Porsche Cayenne ambulances. And I thought the S500 cabs in Germany were baller. Hopefully they have the champagne sprinklers and gold doorstops already.

"OK, so before I put you in here, let's get a few things straight. There will be no eating, drinking, and especially no bleeding in this ambulance. Got it? Good, now let's get you to the hospital." Our Bulgarian distributor once told me that they can't even get snowboard magazines there because the mail is always stolen (I think the word he used was hijacked). I give it about a week before there is a fake emergency and this shit gets carjacked, Sofia style, son.

The Real Deal

Never thought they would throw this amazing track onto a vid. Big Ups to DJ Premier.

R&B Weekly Banger #6

F'n Beyonce annoys the hell out of me, but you can't front on that booty. She came into the gym to work out recently and nearly gave me a heart attack.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Lasonic Clip

Garbage Juice

Even on the crispiest of spring mornings, New York still smells like horseshit.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


We headed over to the Village Gondola bright and early and got on about the 12th chair from Canyon Lodge. As soon as we got on the chair we realized that it was going to be an epic day. It had snowed about a foot at the bottom, and about a foot and a half at the top. And on top of that, it was empty up there. A midweek score. The first few runs we literally were choking on snow. After a few runs down to Canyon we headed to Chair 5, and got on the 4th chair. The first run was literally like a heli run, we were'nt hitting anyone else's track and you could ride as fast as you wanted.

We sessioned several zones, with epic lines each run, and headed out around 3pm back to Irvine. It was one of those times that the snow conditions more than made up for the drive. It felt like we had been there for a few days, especially in the number of runs we got. This was definitely a rebate for Baldface, and was much needed. Needless to say I am keeping and eye on the next storm that might come through Mammoth...

Chief with the "you missed it" phone call back to the Southland.

Worth the drive.

Made it into Mammoth by 1230 last night. It was dumping by 10 miles out of Bishop, and we're headed up the gondola to almost 2 feet of fresh. Not a bad Tuesday.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Drop of a hat.

Mammoth. Foot and a half forecasted. Chief and I are hitting the road for a mission. More later.

Who would've known?

Peyton Manning pretty much killed it on SNL this week. The show might finally be getting back to it's stride. It sucked for so long. SNL is like the Olympics, only instead of every four years hitting new levels of excellence, it sucks so bad FOR four years that you want to sell your television, and then kill the guy that bought it, just to make sure no one is exposed to the horrors again. You know, like The Ring type shit.

The Manatee has become the Mento.

Do yourself a favor and watch Episode 15: "Hardball" where Kenneth becomes part of Tracey's Entourage.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Klever Kills

Math Trick

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.

Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your Head)

1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the Area
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer ??

Dat Perf.

Woke up the next day to BlueBird skies. It finally dawned to me that I was in the middle of beaut country. I was finally enjoying being there. Today plus the days following were some of the best times ever.

More pics later.

Open the Fucking Window.

I was worked after the first day. Didn't sleep after being up with hella allergies from all the dust in the dorm kits. Rode a foreign set-up on some half slushy half crusty conditions. It was fun in retrospect, but I was kinda hating at the time. Not remotely the powder puff conditions that they were supposed to have.

The thing about Balface is that it tries to remove you from all that you are accustomed to. Television, Computers, and just the daily insanity. Time stops and you are expected to enjoy it. Norm and I, resident New Yorkers were slightly losing our shit.

DMC came to rescue with a random heli-ride. I'm super afraid of heights, but I needed some insanity at that moment. It was on. The heli-pilot was straight out of Top Gun training. We were half upside down most of the ride, so I couldn't quite take good scenery shots. Once the cam came out we would go straight into maneuvers. But I did get some nice pics of the roof.

Smooth Operators.

This fag wouldn't let go of the "O Shit Handles".

I ain't trying to candy coat, but I was straight terrorized. I get motion sickness sometimes, but this was beyond that. I was never more afraid of my life, but I loved every minute of it.


Because of the hellride out, it didn't really hit me where I actually was. Once it hit me, I was kinda shook. We were about to ride on some crazy shit, fucked conditions or not. We were all pretty hyped.

The cats are pretty tight. Fits about 15 comfortably, has space for your shit to dry out in between runs, has liters of water with your name on it, and a cooler full of goodies from salmon wraps, turkey sandwiches, PB&J, fruit, and amazing custom pastries that were different day to day. Big Ups to the pastry chef for cooking up some marvelous shit.

DJ Norm Nice pre-labrum tear.

You gotta be f'n kidding me.

So our heli cruise into the backcuntry was nixed because of the shit fuck weather. It turned into a straight retarded mission: 10min boat ride to 20 min Uni-Mog drive up to an hour cat cruise.

Not a helicopter.

At first the cat run was fun but towards the end, the barf meter was tipping through the roof. Laughs ended for all and I was cursing the whole fucking trip. By the time we made it up to the kit I was straight pissed. I needed to lie down and level out to not lose my fucking shit. It wasn't the introduction to Balface that I anticipated. Not to mention it fucking raining ass at this point and you know how that does wonders for conditions.

Not Quite

So if you have been keeping track it's day three on the mission out to Baldface from NYC. The trip out is def not for the road weary. Personally, I don't give a what. Any day off the block makes for a good story.

Well despite the easy trip out, it was about to take a turn for the worse. The weather gods were very uncooperative today and were making our heli up to the Lodge difficult. Instead of jetting up to the kit, we had to wait out the thick fog & misty rain. So we walked into town got some sandwiches and a side of homos. Always a welcome treat on a somber day.

T-BONE enjoying some of finest chocolates BC has to offer.

New for the 07 CDN market. Smoke em' if you got em'.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Nelson Craze

The mission to Nelson from Spokane was partially uneventful. It was about 3 hours or so, but we were cracking jokes and hyped for the trip so it went by pretty quick. The dip into the wilderness was in full effect. Mountains in the background, hella trees and the ever present aroma of horseshit. Border cross was kinda stress as it always can be, but we all made it to BC with no heat.

Nelson is a very odd town. The newspaper confirmed stories of a draft dodger type community living there. And pre-conceptions about a a very "green" community were also confirmed with a store called "Holy Smokes" right in town.

With a very very wet night, there wasn't much to do. DMC did manage to find a gem of a restaurant called the "All Seasons" in a very lurk nasty neighborhood. There's many a dark alley in Nelson where craziness could happen but doesn't.

The food is super good here, but the service sucks but not in the way you'd enjoy. Over an hour is waaaay to long to wait for food while sitting on a high chair stool. But the place is tight. Literally. With very few tables, the restaurant is intimate but too much so while dining with dudes.

But they do have a well stocked bar and crazy wine cellar located right under the very floor where you sit and eat. I had some pear hard cider that was remarkably refreshing. Try the restauarant if you just happen to make your way to the middle of nowhere. Just watch out for the Mexican wrestlers that guard the pisser.

Is that a fucking dude?

Apparently yes. This dude came through to make our visit to the Spokane Diner not only memorable from the food but from the absolutely crazy freaks that inhabit that odd town. There were hipsters running the joint with their tight gear, tats, and funky tracks blasting from the speakers. And there were stuper stuper drunk people; some of whom had to be escorted out the joint for harassing the help.

But don't let it keep you from coming through. The aforementioned coffee is just sublime and the Chicken Fried Chicken Platter is the best best ever. It was sooo good, I came back the next morning to eat it again with some eggs. Straight makes Cracker Barrel like some Hungry Man's Microwave Dinner.

Friday, March 23, 2007

I know a great Canadian restaurant...

So on the GPS in my car there is an option to search for restaurants of various ethnic origins. On one trip to Mammoth I noticed there was an option to search for Canadian restaurants. We all had a laugh that the closest Canadian restaurant to California was in Victoria BC according to the navigation.

I guess they missed this gem hidden in Monrovia, CA. I have'nt been there, and might not ever go, but they do have Canadian bacon and poutine. Oh damn. Now if only they could import some damn Timbits....

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Not VT

Massive travel fuckover. Stuck in Chicago. Really stuck. Drowning my sorrows in hot dogs.

A breakdown of the days events:

910am PDT- Depart Orange County

1150am MDT- Arrive Denver

200pm MDT- Depart Denver after a half hour delay. Mellow right.

315pm CDT- Flight to Chicago gets diverted to Indianapolis. Wait in the plane parked on the outer reaches of the tarmac for 4 hours. No food. No fresh air. I was in business class though so that helped, but not much.

945pm CDT- Depart for Chicago from Indianapolis.

1040pm CDT- Arrive into the clusterfuck that is O'Hare after a day of cancellations. Entire families sleeping on their luggage, 200 yard long lines for the Customer Service Desk. (by the way, you are fucking retarded to wait in that line, call the 800 number you dumb fucks, I called and got through 3 times before I even left the airport, that's what's up.)

1150pm CDT- Got off the Blue Line in Chicago in Wicker Park to eat. Hipsters galore. Grabbed two Chicago Dogs and watched the irony that is modern hipster fashion. (Enjoy it now, before you know it you are driving a luxury German SUV and living in a community with an exotic Spanish name and looking forward to brunch on the weekends you bitches.) Don't even try to avoid it, it's going to happen. I had a few laughs and got a cab to the hotel.

1227pm CDT- Arrived at the Sofitel Water Tower Hotel in Downtown Chicago. It's swankiness was reinforced by the Air France crew getting ready to shove off from the lobby when I arrived. I was'nt even trying to be involved in the mess at the airport hotels, definitely some refugee action going on over there. For $50 more and 20 minutes on the El, you can stay someplace that does'nt have cellophane wrapped danishes with dew on the inside of the wrapper and OJ with a tear off lid as their "Continental Breakfast" offering. What the hell continent is that from? Last time I checked Kentucky was'nt a continent.

Oh yeah, did I mention I have no idea where my bags are? I feel like I am camping, no toothbrush or anything. Schools out!

Trying to get on a 750am flight to Burlington for the meetings, if that does'nt happen, I am heading back to Orange County and chalking it up to experience. Although it is one I have had before and I'm sure I'll have again.

Weekly R&B Banger #5

Straight from the Jiggatronic files comes Atlanta's Finest.

Dope Boy Fresh

Some genius gave our boys from Memphis their own reality show. I can't wait to see Juicy J and Project Pat snap on some people.

Back from BaldCraze

Just got back from BaldFace. Def the craziest trip in the longest. Heading out there is such a mission. Fly to Spokane Washington with a stop in Minneapolis, stay the night, meet up with the crew, bus 4 hours across the border to Nelson, British Columbia, stay anohter night, then helicopter up to the compound. About 3 days of traveling each way just to get to that shit.

Normally, I get travel anxiety for any trip; but for this I was straight Panic Room. Any part of the mission could fuck up and I could get caught up on some bullshit. Well, I did, but worst on the way back; more on that later.

Once I stepped in the car service and noticed the driver was wearing Rawlings baseball gloves, I knew I was fucked. He was blasting some Mexican rap and drove like a complete maniac. I almost barfed all over the place, but he did get me to JFK in record time in the middle of gridlock traffic. Thanks Eduardo.

Of course, NorthWest had no record of our flight booking through Orbitz. But Norm worked his magic and got us on the flight somehow. We stopped in Minneapolis for a quick layover and was completely entertained for that one hour. They have vending of all kinds straight from Japan. Need a new Ipod? A new Motorola Q? No problem. I was amazed how much of it was sold. I even bought a quick charger. But that airport was a complete nightmare on the way home. 9 hours is waaay too long to be waiting in an airport.

We did finally make it to Spokane home of the Satellite Diner and probably the best cup of coffee I have drank in a long long time. I even bought a fucking mug like a fag tourist. The Satellite Diner is the only Diner I know of with a bouncer that lets you in the door. Retarded.

More pics later...

Off to the 802.

Heading back to Vermont for some meetings and a day of riding with the 80 Industrial set. On the list:

1. Wolfhound Waldorf from Gracie's
2. A visit to the Fresh Market
3. Pure Pop, you know, if there's time. (Nice to support the little guy.)
4. Rosie's Beef Jerky (sorry Marian)
5. A hearty helping of Cabot Hunters Sharp Cheddar.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Weekly R&B Banger #4

Nothing like a hit for the R to make everyone forget he likes peeing on eleventeen yo girls in his spare time.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I can't breathe.

6633 N. Mesa

Tracy Morgan. Entertainer.

Saturday, March 17, 2007


If I had the time, I'd make one of these. Pretty awesome.

Very undercover.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Storm in the Gulf.

...and also first prize winner in the Nat King Cole lookalike contest.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Weekly R&B Banger #3

Gotta Love the R.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Subway Ticket+Too Much Time=X Wing

This is in French, but everyone can make sense of how homeboy made an X Wing out of a subway ticket.