Banksy.

Dia De Los Muertos.

Dinner is Served.

Why PZA is the best.

Tax Dat Azz.

"Whatever you do, don't fall asleep."

Funky Fridays #11.

Kilometers of fun.

This past weeks long and arduous roadtrip was chock full of adventure.

Coming soon:
-full review of Red Bull Cola
-first day of riding breakdown
-random road stories
-food ridiculousness
-Tales from the E-Brake

Pharell Can't Skate, uhm Skid.

Shack Attack.

I've been a Shake Shack hater for many years now, although most everyone has praised the joint as the best burger in town. Personally, I hate waiting esp. waiting in line for food when I'm hella hungry and still have to eat my meal on the sidewalk with dog shit and bum piss. F'n Whatevs. Burger Joint will always be the shit for it's quality and dl hideout spot.

Lines are for blow and fades not snacks.

The infamous SS graph. You could take your chances and use the graph to map out your meal or goto the site and check out the cam. Gay.

Well, a second Shake Shack opened right up the block from work and my client persuaded me to fuck off our session and go eat. Whatever, I was still getting paid.

Suprisingly, even just after the lunch rush ~2pm, the healthy line moved rather quickly. Plus just like in Friday's, you get a little pager so you can order and grab a seat. The accomodations are pretty welcoming with tall windows so passer-bys can watch you stuff your face.

Upon ordering, I was still a skeptic, but as a professional fat-ass, I was excited to get my grub on. I kinda got a little stage-fright at the register as a virgin Shake Shacker. Getting a decent "In & Out" style meal in NY is next to impossible; so it's always Turkey Wraps or Slices.

Once I finally got my tray down, I couldn't believe the goodness on the table: Double Shackburger (lettuce, tomato, ketchup and even their secret sauce; which I normally hate- but they only schmear a hint of the sauce so you don't get mayo-grossed out), Krinkle Kut fries, large Fanta Grape, and a "Shack Attack" Shake: chocolate custard, hot fudge, chocolate truffle cookie dough and valrhona chocolate chunks, topped with chocolate sprinkles.


The burger was pretty damn good. Tastier than a 5Guys, but not quite Burger Joint. If only Burger Joint did a double. I loved how the patties weren't perfecty round: fresh cut meat like from the butcher, but oddly shaped like when fresh cooked. The fries win hands down. I'm not a big fry guy but put some Ore-Ida Krinkle Kuts or Tater Tots and I'm sold.

The winner for me was the Shake. Probably, the best I've ever had. No joke. Spoon only with not run-of-the-mill ingredients. A bite with some whole almonds and those valrhona chocolate chunks was kill. I'd wait in line for a shake only.

So in conclusion, Shake Shack wins best joint by a small margin, not for decor (although I do enjoy the indoor seating) but because the shake menu fucking kills. Get Some.

Ender Ender.

In more fat boy news. I hit up Vers.2.0 of the infamous Shake Shack,
right up the street from work. More later after the "itis" passes. Def
a 10 on the nap scale.

Murder Inc.

Broke out the Krylon and cleaned up the beater.

Funky Fridays #10.

Stomped it.

I don't want to brag, but I can totally handle the black diamonds...

Payback.

Baseheads.

Totally random but these dudes are fucked.

GO RAYS!

Thank you for helping me collectively tell all those goatee-wearing, chowda eating, red & blue hat wearing Massholes to go fuck off. To come from last place last year to their first World Series appearance-Go Rays. F'n A Right!!!

It actually exists.

The place where the dumbest TV show in history takes place.

Funky Fridays #9.

Retro Kids are bringing it back to the Spike Lee OG PE days. Hope they can keep up the hype. Feeling those Kwame Kid N' Play fades.

Gus'.

Went on a skate trip to Rhode Island and the only thing I brought back was a nearly broken wrist from a collision with fellow fat boy, Will, and a single pic of our late birthday afterparty at Gus'. Just some random RI pizza hole that served up some marvelous shit. The wings were proper as was my pan fried meatball sub. Just like Ma used to make.

After dealing with not being able to properly wipe my ass for a week, I figured my skating days are numbered. Not trying to take myself out for the upcoming snowboarding season with a front board gone bad. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to session a block and bump to can any day, but find me that magical bust-free spot and I'll throw a party. But I did finally hustle enough eGoods to put together a new commuter beater. Nothing like like daily bike miles to get prepped for the season.

Nerd Alert®

The Finn and I are glad we waited until Oct.14th.



You never even miss the buttons on the trackpad, which is now made of glass.

TrackoBomb.

Spot on.

OK so usually I find Samberg pretty annoying, but his impression of Mark Wahlberg is pretty spot on.

Funky Fridays #8.

"You Gots To Chill Now."

Charles Southern Kitchen.

Finally made it up to Charles' Southern Kitchen, voted Best Fried Chicken in NYC. I was hyped to get a taste of Roscoe's House of Chicken & Waffles in my own backyard. Shit was a mission though. ALLLL the way Uptown within walking distance to Yankee Stadium.



Dropped by at a good time, just before the lunch rush. Reviews mentioned the crazy lines and waiting games, but there was only one other person there ordering take-out. Unfortunately the infamous buffet wasn't running so I didn't get my waffle fix, but they DID have a grip of fresh fried chicken.



Straight Succulent and lightly pan fried so you don't make too much of a mess and don't get the "Rumble in the Bronx" mid meal. The Mac & Cheese was kill, just like Cracker Barrel, but if Grammy made it. They offer fresh made Lemonade & Sweet Tea but I only found out after I ordered a Coke. Next time.




It was mos def worth the hike into Harlem. It's in a part of the neighborhood that wasn't too bad. While standing outside checking my messages, someone asked if they could buy weed from ME. I swear I need a stylist or something.

Flip this Journey™

If you have'nt heard Journey lately, well, they don't sound much different than they used to. After losing Steve Perry to an injury a few years back, they found a new lead singer from the Phillipines on....YouTube.

It's crazy how good this guy is. And Journey songs are not easy to sing. Just ask my soap on a rope microphone. But he can be a bit bitchy sometimes so whatever.

Jenny on lunch break.

We don't even have to cross a street to get here from the new Bond HQ. A one minute walk to here and Jenny is stoked...and getting our floors sandy on the regular.

Bond

The cat is officially out of the bag.

Check out http://www.bondlimited.com for more details.

Brilliant Photoshop job.

And Foster's sponsors the ASP World Tour. Jeesh.

Funky Fridays #7.

If you do nothing else today, watch this.

Diesel's SFW XXX Party Clip



This ad is for Diesel's 30th Anniversary party. Wow.